Box, Frocks and Rocks

Box

I’d like to take this opportunity to state for the record that Amanda Holden is a thoroughly irritating and apparently useless human being. She does absolutely nothing on Britain’s Got Talent (ITV) except bawl senselessly at every sorry sob-story the producers have shamelessly concocted. Honest to goodness, week after week she sits on the judging panel, they roll out some ten year old chav who can play the oboe and who mumbles, “errr yeah, well I was like bullied at my school,” and that’s it. She’s off. The lashes flutter, the eyes widen then well up; she screws her little botoxed face up and then weeps and weeps and weeps.

How Simon Cowell doesn’t smack her is beyond me. In fact, it strikes me as proof of just how irksome Ms Holden is given that she features on a show with not only Simon Cowell but Piers Morgan too, and yet somehow she comes across as the tosser. Now I feel slightly guilty for this rant, as seemingly cute and doll-like as Holden is, but frankly, dry your eyes Mandy, because at the moment you’re doing a disservice to female telly presenters everywhere.

Frocks

This week fashion-wise, some fellow coursemates and I have been in search of the more obscure collection of garments: from 50s nurses outfits to 80s pop-socks and WWI uniforms. No, we’re not off to yet another fancy-dress party, this is an admittedly clumsy segue into a shamless plug...

Come and see the final year drama Directorial Projects this Thursday and Friday in the John Thaw Studio (Martin Harris Centre, Bridgford Street). We will be prancing about in all sorts of bizarre frocks for your entertainment and would thoroughly enjoy your company.

Rocks

Facebook stalking old school-year bullies. I derive a great source of pleasure from reading their (mis-spelled) profile pages, if only for the guaranteed inanities they will have hastily typed under the “favourite books” section: “Wots readin? Lol.” “Books? Wot r they? Lmao” etc. etc. For me personally, there is possibly nothing more satisfying than the fact that your schoolyard tormentors are stuck in a time warp circa Year Nine. That is, except for the fact they added you in the first place. Oh and you now have more friends than them.