It could have gone so wrong: amateurish MCs, a psychotic bouncer, and a silly door policy … however, despite the ridiculous hat and rhymes of Skinnyman, the night was saved by the talents of Riot Brass Band.
The night was kicked off by a DJ who, despite some mixing mess-ups, came through with an eclectic mix of tunes to get everyone in the mood. Sadly, the two MCs that joined him onstage committed the cardinal sin: asking the DJ to “slow down the choons mate”. It was pretty pleasing to hear the next song be significantly faster and the wannabe MCs soon disappeared.
Next up was the Riot Brass Band, or rather the band doing several YoungBlood Brass Band covers. Although I sympathise with the daunting task of writing new songs to fill what was a marathon slot, it disappointed me to see such a good opportunity to get their music out there wasted.
I had pondered before hand what the state of affairs would be when Skinnyman, famous (at least among some) for not having the most intelligent rhymes, combined his lyrical gift with a brass band. However, the successful cover of ‘I’ll be Surprised’ did exactly what it said, proving all my doubts wrong.
Skinnyman went down so well nobody seemed to care when he spouted such awful rhymes like, “Where you at Manchester, you know they call it Gun-Chester, I think you better put a shirt on your…chest-er!”
Leaving the heaving masses of the main room behind, Sketch City and some quality DJs could be found being a little more creative in the more intimate room. As the DJs mixed, resident artists from The Contact's monthly art and music mash up Sketch City did their graffiti thing, creating some interesting canvasses.
Whatever misdemeanours occurred, all involved with Riot Jazz provided an excellent party. After exceeding the capacity of the Manchester musical institution that is the Attic last month, the Riot Jazz team picked an excellent new venue with Moho Live. Add to this the enthusiasm for the MCs and popularity of Skinnyman and the Riot Jazz team have scored a real winner.
Axel, you are correct to be firm with this neysayer, this unruly child. For she has brought unto you and your family a slate of lies and filth. When I think of the injustice that has befallen the guiltless riot jazz team, it brings a tear to my eye and a lump to my crotch. A throbbing painful lump of injustice. Riot jazz the innocent babe has been the victim of pointless pain, not unlike the unwarranted pain of an 8 year old girl returning home from an initially pleasant ride in the woods with a saddle sore snatch. And to the hypocrites and custodians of untruth who merclessly fling puny 8/10 reviews and go about saying that the team are "a bunch of arrogant self-important machiavellian would-whore-out-their-own-mothers-to-sell-one-
more-ticket-if-they-could country bumpkin impostors", I tell thee this: Riot jazz isn't meant to be too bad. I wouldn't know because I didn't make it. But I am constantly reminded of its greatness by the daily cleansing plague of facebook messages and the valiant crusade-like molesting of the walls of other people's events. One only has to count the number of exclamation marks in those messages to know that riot jazz are on to great things...
Although Hannah was nice enough to award Riot Jazz on the 16th April a well-deserved 8 out of 10, there are some obvious fallacies in her review that need correcting.
First of all it’s RIOT JAZZ, not “It’s a Riot” or “Riotjazz.”
What hurts my heart the most, however, are the comments made about our beloved Riot Jazz Brass Band:
1. “or rather the band doing several Young Blood Brass Band covers” FALSE!
As anyone that was there and is familiar with either band will know, the Riot Jazz Brass Band has only ever played 1 Young Blood Brass Band cover! Uno!
2. “Although I sympathise with the daunting task of writing new songs to fill what was a marathon slot, it disappointed me to see such a good opportunity to get their music out there wasted.”
In contrast to what Hannah seems to think, the Riot Jazz Brass Band does NOT play by sheet music. All songs played are written interpretations courtesy of the genius of band leader Nick Walters.
While I cannot comment on Hannah’s opinion, I was unnerved by the following statements:
1. “The wannabe MCs soon disappeared”
Again, Hannah is very much entitled to her own opinion, but I feel it necessary to add that one of those “wannabe MCs” is an “Urban Superstar” finalist and protégé of the renowned MC Fallacy. The boy IS an MC!
2. “Sadly, the two MCs that joined him onstage committed the cardinal sin: asking the DJ to ‘slow down the choons mate’”
I’m pretty sure that rule wasn’t chiselled into the original stone tablets of Hip-Hop, I should know, I’ve read them.
3. “my personal favourite, The Spice Girls Medley”
This is from a different review by Hannah on the same page. I found this particularly unnerving.
Furthermore, the glorious DJ Will Tramp!, one of the city’s absolute finest, wasn’t even mentioned.
As for the “silly door policy” remark, I hope it has nothing to do with me accidentally drawing a Swastika instead of a “+” on Hannah’s plus-1’s cheek. I didn’t do that on everyone and it was only because my fingers were numb with cold. I do agree, however, that insisting on drawing Swastikas on every second attendee would be a ridiculously “silly door policy.”
Get ready for more “winners” from the Riot Jazz Team. Check us out at Eurocultured (25th May), the Mad Ferret Festival (4th June) and an upcoming versus night with HIT&RUN.
All the best,
Axel Sylvan