The Who Returns

It's that Timelord of year again; Doctor Who is back on the box, and he's got a new sidekick in tow. Here's what's happening…

Well, obviously it's still David Tennant in the Tardis, despite rumours of Matt Lucas taking over the role. He's on his third female assistant since the show's re-emergence (unless you count Kylie, but I don't. She only made one appearance and died quite quickly; no staying power or survival instincts, a bit rubbish really), after the departure of Billie Piper and the less than successful stint of Freema Agyeman. The new sidekick arrives in the form of catchphrase spouting comic Catherine Tate.

Inevitably this brings with it smatterings of silliness, but this is what Tate does best. If, like me, you're not a fan of Tate's show, you may have already made up your mind not to like the new series, but don't be so hasty. If you can get past seeing the foul-mouthed Gran or the earth shatteringly irritating teenager Lauren and start to focus on the character, it has to be said that she is a vast improvement on the plank of wood that was Martha. Whilst undoubtedly a step down from Piper and Agyeman in the echelons of eye candy, Tate will nevertheless be present for the entire fourth series, reprising her role from the 2006 Christmas Special. Agyeman will return halfway through the series, following a brief jaunt in exile on spin-off series Torchwood, while Piper also makes a bewildering, silent blink-and-you'll-miss-it guest appearance in the first episode.

The first episode sees The Doctor and Donna (Tate's character) embroiled in a sinister plot where fat people start producing little flab monsters called Adipose. This grim phenomenon is all thanks to pills given to them by the otherworldly owner of a company which preys on those who seek an easy route to weight loss, with the standard eventual aim of doing Earth some serious unpleasantness. Mutual peril in the usual large building from which there is no obvious escape sees the Doctor and Donna reunited but there’s no time for sentiment; scores of salad dodgers are falling apart as we speak. ‘Ceding’ a level five planet is against galactic law so the pair spring into action to save Earth from the Adipose.

Considering the fact that the hardcore fans got the hump when Tennant was cast in 2005, and the struggle to settle on a new permanent assistant, it's looking pretty rosy in the Doctor's garden. The series (which is Russell T Davies' last as producer) will run for thirteen episodes and, according to the spoilers you can find if you browse the Internet for all of five seconds, the last episode looks very tasty indeed. It's on Saturday nights, as per usual, leaving the Timelord just enough time to save the world before the Lottery comes on, and affording you the opportunity to gather your flatmates and sit down with some pizzas and beer like one big happy family. If that's inconvenient, catch it on BBC3 the next night.